Monday, 13 July 2015

DIVORCE, AND ITS EFFECTS


Divorce is the termination of a marital union, the canceling and or reorganizing of the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of matrimony between a married couple under the rule of law of the particular country and or state.
Divorce is unlike annulment which declares the marriage null and void. Divorce laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries it requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process of divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child visitation  access, parenting time, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt. In most countries monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to marry another; where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not, divorce allows the woman to marry a new husband.
Divorce can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements, household jobs, schedules, parenting and the outcomes of children of the marriage as they face each stage of development from childhood to adulthood. If the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.
Effects of Divorce
Among estranged partners in marriage, these feelings are unavoidable before, during and after the process of divorce. The couples concerned are not the only people affected; others close to them may be affected too.   
Couples who are divorced are also saddled with added responsibilities and roles, particularly with regard to the care of children. Each parent has to be both father and mother to the children. Some mothers may even have to go out and work to maintain their children.
In any marriage break-up, it is the children who are most likely to be affected psychologically. They are the unfortunate victims of the bickering’s between parents. Faced with their own problems, parents tend to disregard their children's feelings, thus making the children feel that they are unwanted. If the situation is not handled properly, they may develop a negative attitude towards parents and marriage, as a result of what they see happening in the home.
It is usual for couples with marital problems to think more of their own feelings than of their children. They may have the interest of their children at heart, but the children are not to know this. All the children know is that something is terribly wrong, but they have no idea what it is nor can they find the words to describe it.
The following are some of the effects that parents' matrimonial problems have on children:
    Sense of being deprived of parental love, Separation from siblings, Sense of guilt, embarrassment, insecurity and loss of self-confidence, depression, Anxiety, Loss of concentration in studies
    Tendency towards negative attitude and behaviour.
Left unchecked, these effects may dwell permanently in the minds of children right through adulthood. Therefore it is imperative that couples contemplating separation should think of the consequence that their divorce would bring upon their children. They must not lose sight of the following:
A divorce does not sever the tie between children and parents.
Children need parental assistance and support to cope with the changed situation following the parents' divorce.
Children are sensitive. When they lose something, they will be anxious and angry. They will need a lot of attention and support to cope with this feeling of insecurity.
Children need their parents' love. The sense of hatred towards each other that parents develop following their estrangement should never be allowed to penetrate the children's mind.
   Finance
The following are some of the consequences that divorced couples must come to terms with:
The need to cut down spending due to reduced income.
Acute financial problem faced by the wife if she has been dependent solely on her husband for money.
The need to cut down children's daily expenses, which in turn may affect the children's performance in school.
The claim for maintenance of children filed in the Family Court.
The need to work overtime to make ends meet.
The heavier financial burden that the husband has to shoulder as he must provide maintenance for the children in the wife's custody after divorce, and must support a new family if he has re-married.
   Social Stigma
The social stigma that is usually attached to a divorce is inevitable. For example:
It is not unusual for divorcees to be derided by the community.
Friends and relatives will ask awkward questions.
The estranged couple will lose each other's relatives and friends.
The help of relatives to look after the children may have to be sought.
The sense of loss will be all the greater if the partners have been very much dependent on each other in daily life.
The help of welfare and other organizations may have to be sought.
- DEBORAH EZRA
 KUW/U14/SLG/2028

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