Divorce
is the termination of a marital union, the canceling and or reorganizing of the
legal duties and responsibilities of marriage, thus dissolving the bonds of
matrimony between a married couple under the rule of law of the particular
country and or state.
Divorce
is unlike annulment which declares the marriage null and void. Divorce laws
vary considerably around the world, but in most countries it requires the
sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process of
divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child
visitation access, parenting time, child
support, distribution of property, and division of debt. In most countries
monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to marry another;
where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not, divorce allows the woman to marry
a new husband.
Divorce
can be a stressful experience affecting finances, living arrangements,
household jobs, schedules, parenting and the outcomes of children of the
marriage as they face each stage of development from childhood to adulthood. If
the family includes children, they may be deeply affected.
Effects of Divorce
Among
estranged partners in marriage, these feelings are unavoidable before, during
and after the process of divorce. The couples concerned are not the only people
affected; others close to them may be affected too.
Couples who are divorced are also saddled with added
responsibilities and roles, particularly with regard to the care of children.
Each parent has to be both father and mother to the children. Some mothers may
even have to go out and work to maintain their children.
In any marriage break-up, it is the children who are
most likely to be affected psychologically. They are the unfortunate victims of
the bickering’s between parents. Faced with their own problems, parents tend to
disregard their children's feelings, thus making the children feel that they
are unwanted. If the situation is not handled properly, they may develop a
negative attitude towards parents and marriage, as a result of what they see
happening in the home.
It
is usual for couples with marital problems to think more of their own feelings
than of their children. They may have the interest of their children at heart,
but the children are not to know this. All the children know is that something
is terribly wrong, but they have no idea what it is nor can they find the words
to describe it.
The
following are some of the effects that parents' matrimonial problems have on
children:
Sense of being deprived of parental love,
Separation from siblings, Sense of guilt, embarrassment, insecurity and loss of
self-confidence, depression, Anxiety, Loss of concentration in studies
Tendency towards negative attitude and
behaviour.
Left
unchecked, these effects may dwell permanently in the minds of children right
through adulthood. Therefore it is imperative that couples contemplating
separation should think of the consequence that their divorce would bring upon
their children. They must not lose sight of the following:
A divorce does not sever the tie between
children and parents.
Children need parental assistance and
support to cope with the changed situation following the parents' divorce.
Children are sensitive. When they lose
something, they will be anxious and angry. They will need a lot of attention
and support to cope with this feeling of insecurity.
Children need their parents' love. The
sense of hatred towards each other that parents develop following their
estrangement should never be allowed to penetrate the children's mind.
Finance
The
following are some of the consequences that divorced couples must come to terms
with:
The need to cut down spending due to
reduced income.
Acute financial problem faced by the wife
if she has been dependent solely on her husband for money.
The need to cut down children's daily
expenses, which in turn may affect the children's performance in school.
The claim for maintenance of children filed
in the Family Court.
The need to work overtime to make ends
meet.
The heavier financial burden that the
husband has to shoulder as he must provide maintenance for the children in the
wife's custody after divorce, and must support a new family if he has
re-married.
Social
Stigma
The
social stigma that is usually attached to a divorce is inevitable. For example:
It is
not unusual for divorcees to be derided by the community.
Friends and relatives will ask awkward
questions.
The estranged couple will lose each other's
relatives and friends.
The help of relatives to look after the
children may have to be sought.
The sense of loss will be all the greater
if the partners have been very much dependent on each other in daily life.
The help of welfare and other organizations
may have to be sought.
- DEBORAH EZRA
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