Socialization is the process by which children and
adults learn from others. We begin learning from others during the early days
of life; and most people continue their social learning all through life
(unless some mental or physical disability slows or stops the learning
process). Sometimes the learning is fun, as when we learn a new sport, art or
musical technique from a friend we like. At other times, social learning is
painful, as when we learn not to drive too fast by receiving a large fine for
speeding.
Natural
socialization occurs when infants and youngsters explore, play and
discover the social world around them. Planned socialization occurs
when other people take actions designed to teach or train others -- from
infancy on. Natural socialization is easily seen when looking at the young of
almost any mammalian species (and some birds). Planned socialization is mostly
a human phenomenon; and all through history, people have been making plans for
teaching or training others. Both natural and planned socialization can have
good and bad features: It is wise to learn the best features of both natural
and planned socialization and weave them into our lives.
Positive
socialization is the type of social learning that is based on pleasurable
and exciting experiences. We tend to like the people who fill our social
learning processes with positive motivation, loving care, and rewarding opportunities. Negative
socialization occurs when others use punishment, harsh criticisms or anger
to try to "teach us a lesson;" and often we come to dislike both
negative socialization and the people who impose it on us.
There are all types of mixes of positive and negative socialization; and the
more positive social learning experiences we have, the happier we tend to be --
especially if we learn useful information that helps us cope well with the
challenges of life. A high ratio of negative to positive socialization can make
a person unhappy, defeated or pessimistic about life. One of the goals of this
is to show people how to increase the ratio of positive to negative in the
socialization they receive from others -- and that they
give to others. [Some people will defend negative
socialization, since painful training can prepare people to be ready to fight
and die in battle, put themselves at great risk in order to save others, endure
torture and hardship. This is true; but many people receive far more negative
socialization than they need, and hopefully fewer and fewer people will need to
be trained for battle, torture and hardship.]
This shows
that positive socialization, coupled with valuable information about life and
the skills needed to live well, can be a powerful tool for promoting human
development. We all have an enormous human potential, and we all could develop
a large portion of it if we had the encouragement that comes from positive
socialization and the wisdom that comes from valuable information about living.
Information about both natural and planned socialization can be especially
useful.
Our prior socialization helps explain a gigantic chunk of who we are
at present -- what we think and feel, where we plan to go in life. But we are
not limited by the things given to us by our prior social learning experiences;
we can take all our remaining days and steer our future social learning in
directions that we value. The more that we know about the socialization process,
the more effective we can be in directing our future learning in the ways that
will help us most.
Because we were not able to select our parents, we were not able to control
much of the first 10 or 20 years of our socialization. However, most people
learn to influence their own socialization as they gain experience in life. It
takes special skills to steer and direct our own socialization, and many of us
pick up some of those skills naturally as we go through life. Having a course
on socialization can help us understand which skills
are most effective in guiding our socialization toward the goals we most value.
It is important to know that we all come into life with a variety of psychology
systems that foster self-actualization and favor the development of
our human potential. These are the biosocial mechanisms that underlie natural
socialization. We can see and study natural socialization by examining the
socialization of primates and other mammals. Once we under the natural biosocial
processes, we can try to build strategies of self-actualization that are
compatible with the natural biosocial mechanisms we are born with to make
self-development as easy and rewarding as possible.
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